Be generous to yourself

  • Be generous to yourself

A journey that freed and opened the heart

I recently returned from a two-week Sacred Journey to Peru—an experience that opened my heart in ways I’m still integrating. One of the clearest invitations that stayed with me is this: to be generous.

Generous to myself. Generous with myself.

In the days since returning home, I’ve been sitting with this word—feeling into it, letting it reshape how I relate to myself.

Generous to Yourself: Allowing More

Being generous to myself feels like permission. Permission to want, to feel, to choose—without guilt or shame.

It showed up in simple ways this week: buying something that sparked joy, like red pants and lipstick. Taking rest in the middle of the day. Going on a spontaneous midweek hike instead of convincing myself it wasn’t practical.

It also meant not overextending myself for others. Letting go of expectations—like cooking when I didn’t have the energy—and choosing what felt truly nourishing.

To be generous to myself is to listen to what I need and trust that it’s enough.

Generous with Yourself: Being Honest and Open

Being generous with myself feels like allowing truth.

It means not pretending I’m okay when I’m not. Letting myself be seen. Expressing what’s real, even when it’s messy or unclear.

It’s softening the inner critic and choosing a kinder, more supportive voice. It’s being honest about what I feel, want, and need—without shrinking or second-guessing myself.

The Space to Not Know

This generosity also brings forgiveness.

I don’t need to have everything figured out right now. I can feel uncertain. I can be in transition. To be generous to myself is to allow this space—and trust the unfolding.

Growth isn’t always clear or graceful. Sometimes it’s messy. Being generous with myself means letting that be okay.

Holding Joy Without Guilt

One of the shifts I’ve noticed is allowing myself to feel joy—even when others around me may be struggling.

I can hold both: joy and compassion. One does not cancel the other.

Filling Your Own Cup

The more I practice this, the more I ask: What else can I allow, so I feel truly nourished?

Because when my cup is full, giving becomes effortless. It flows naturally, without depletion.

A Quiet Truth

During the retreat, a friend shared the French word mériter—to deserve, to be worthy, to honor.

It stayed with me.

True generosity toward oneself grows from a place where there is less self-doubt, less guilt, less shame. A place where honoring yourself feels natural—only to recognize and remember. 

To be generous to yourself…
is  to trust that you are already worthy.

This blog naturally links in to 9 steps to inner peace. 

with warmth, Be


Using the potential of number 3 for harmony and expression

  • Using the potential of number 3 for harmony and expression

Using the potential of number 3 for expression and harmony

Not only does March carry the number 3, but yesterday we also had a full moon on the 3rd of March. Writing about the number 3 arose from an earlier title: From inner conflict to greater harmony. I am choosing to write this after leading an online meditation yesterday evening titled: I Am My Radiant Essence.

In that meditation, we gently released protective layers that had once served us well. As we grow, certain forms of control or protection naturally soften and make space for fuller expression. When we allow this softening, our potential expands and our essence expresses itself more freely.

After building heart capacity and compassion over at least three previous sessions with some of the same people in our online sangha, I trust that fertile ground was prepared for new heart-seeds to flourish into joyful expression.

When we were in Australia, we encountered Aboriginal art, rich with dots. Later in my life, I noticed white dots painted on the faces of women here in South Africa on certain occasions. When the Heartcoach Heart symbol was designed, there was clear guidance to include three dots and seven dots.

For me, the number 3 represents harmony and expression.

When two forces meet, there is energy. With awareness, that energy becomes creative movement. Inner conflict, when listened to, invites transformation. Sound that once feels scratchy and contracted can open into resonance and flow, becoming pleasant to the ear and easeful in the body.

Active and passive find balance through the neutral presence that allows movement again. This creates harmony without anyone feeling diminished. Both forces attune to one another.

In Buddhist terms, a wheel that turns with ease reflects Sukkha — liberated joy. A wheel that struggles invites attention and care. Dukkha describes that experience of friction, while Sukkha reflects the ease that comes with freedom. The number 3 supports this shift in perspective. Open awareness creates space for creative solutions — for win-win outcomes rooted in flexibility rather than rigidity.

Years ago, I attended a workshop with Genpo Roshi titled Big Heart, Big Mind. In the preface of his book, he writes:

“We would like to be able to communicate and empathize more fully in our relationships. We want our children and family and ourselves to reach our fullest potential, to be happier and more joyful in this life.”

He offers triads such as:

  • small self – non-dual – Big Mind
  • fear – no-fear – true self (beyond both)

In Buddhism, three is foundational for practice and philosophy. It represents the stability that supports awakening. Buddhists take refuge in:

  • The Buddha (the awakened teacher)
  • The Dharma (the teachings)
  • The Sangha (the community)

The Three Marks of Existence describe the core realizations about reality:
Anicca (impermanence), Dukkha (the human experience of suffering), and Anatta (non-self).

I connect with the number 3 in simple, living ways.

At night, my attention often rests on three stars above our house. For me, they represent a family that supports one another — three sisters.

In the morning, during my movement practice, I connect with sky, earth, and my own heart. In some cultures this triad is expressed as father, mother, and child.

I connect with the number 3 in the octave of consciousness — SA RE GA (my will), GA MA PA (thy will), PA DHA NI (that will).

I also see the pattern of three within the Enneagram. The triads 1-4-7, 3-6-9, and 2-5-8 move within a circle that represents wholeness. Harmonizing and attuning allows us to access our full potential with flexibility and fluidity.

For me, this movement toward harmony is what “growing up” means.

As Pema Chodron writes so beautifully:

“There’s a life-affirming teaching in Buddhism, which is that Buddha, which means ‘awake’, is not someone you worship. Buddha is not someone you aspire to. Buddha is not somebody that was born more than two thousand years ago and was smarter than you’ll ever be.
Buddha is our inherent nature — our buddha nature — and what that means is that if you’re going to grow up fully, the way that it happens is that you begin to connect with the intelligence that you already have.
It’s not like there’s some intelligence that’s going to be transplanted into you. If you’re going to be fully mature, you will no longer be imprisoned in the childhood feeling that you always need to protect yourself because things are too harsh.
If you’re going to be a grown up — which I would define as being completely at home in your world no matter how difficult the situation — it’s because you allow something that’s already in you to be nurtured. You allow it to grow, you call it forward, instead of keeping it buried.”

In alignment with these words:

May old protections gently fall away.
May the body soften and the mind quieten so that your essence shines more fully.
May order and harmony restore themselves — within and around.
May you feel composed in this new harmonic way, allowing your true radiant essence and potential to express themselves freely.

with warmth, Be

My Music choice that was part of this: All I am…If you look in my heart you will find that I am someone who loves you that’s all I am.  

Creative collage on pinterest: 

When the Heart Leads the Vision

  • When the Heart Leads the Vision

When the Heart Leads the Vision

The other day, I was organizing my HeartCoach Pinterest account. It started with an invitation to create a vision board for 2026.

Some time ago, I had said no more to vision boards.

I’ve seen how the mind can get hooked on pretty images that look like happiness. For me, true happiness arrived later—through slowing down, through feeling more peace in my heart. More peace came with radical acceptance of things as they are, and with truly listening to my body. This didn’t happen overnight. It’s been a process.

Before this sense of peace began to blossom, there was more unease. A questioning: Can I be with life as it is? Can I move along with what’s present, without pushing myself toward more goals or seeking security in things that aren’t really aligned with my soul?

Then I remembered a beautiful photo my son took last year. We were walking in Newlands Forest with a friend, pausing to immerse ourselves in the sound of the stream and the gentle movement of leaves in the breeze. As I sat there in silence, connecting to nature, the elements, and a deep sense of peace, my son was taking photos. One of them I absolutely love.

And I thought: Okay. I can play with this.

For me, that image holds a feeling of both peace and flow—so I placed it on my board.

That opened something. I wondered: What other photos carry a feeling I’d like to remember? One came to mind immediately—a photo of an amoeba under a microscope at an aquarium. It was another astonishing moment, one I associate with wonder and curiosity, and with human beings engaging in genuine, interested conversation about what’s right there.

That microscopic image is a marvel of nature I wouldn’t have seen without slowing down and engaging with another person in relaxed, curious presence. I named that pin Wonder & Curiosity.

The third pin is ME / WE, connected to gratitude and generosity. This came from our 2025 Mindful Motherhood practice, where we explored this pāramīta. In Buddhism, the pāramītas are the ten perfections of the heart—qualities that carry one “to the other shore,” from suffering to enlightenment. I feel called to cultivate this quality more deeply: the awareness of our interconnectedness.

Next, I added a book: Forgiveness. This was another theme we explored last year in Mindful Motherhood. While preparing a 15-minute talk before meditation, I discovered the book Forgive Everyone for Everything. That, too, found its way onto my board.

Yesterday, I joined an online meditation group led by Celeste Young. It struck me how the pāramītas seem to be calling several of us teachers to pass them forward—first and foremost by practicing them in our own hearts. Celeste dedicated yesterday’s practice to Sīla, which can be translated as ethical conduct.

I wrote down a simple commitment: non-harming.

Non-harming includes obvious behaviors, but also subtle ones—like unskillful speech. I noticed how my comparing mind, when unchecked, can harm me and affect how I show up with my two boys. Remembering this, I stepped into forgiveness for the past, so I can move forward with more mindfulness and self-control. From that came the next pin: choosing to speak wisely.

The final pin is enjoy time with your partner.

Last year, our garden was full of butterflies. I’ve always been drawn to them. Years ago, we once stayed in a charming little holiday house completely covered in caterpillars—and last year, our garden felt just like that. Butterfly after butterfly.

I took a photo of two butterflies, lightly and freely flying around—each clearly its own being, and yet obviously together. No limitation on one another. Just happily sharing the moment.

So these are my pins on this year’s vision board—created intentionally, without attachment.

And with a deep sense of wonder: What else is possible? How else might we be happy and healthy, amidst it all?

What images, moments, or feelings would your heart place on a vision board—if it were guided by presence rather than striving?

With Warmth, Be

And check out here how the collage pin looks like: Vision Board 2026

Companionship

  • Companionship

Companionship

Couple of years a local artist Katherine Bull guided me as my mentor to explore collage as a form of expression.

I return to it regularly as a wonderful medium that gives space for subconscious to express,  to process… 

This one has a word Companionship written under the pieces of images and cut out words. It shows a companionship with your own self in the mirror (good, bad, right wrong, loving or judgemental), the companionship with Earth and Sun, balance of left and right hemisphere, the acceptance that leads to Joy.

As a whole it is reminding us how our full presence is our gift. 

with warmth, Be

Soloist

  • Soloist

Soloist

With the night the silence came

That gave way to soloist

This is why all the practice

To enjoy the openness and connection to the audience of birds, tourists and locals

Those who focus to listen and those who want to be present and are able to eat

From what he were when he started through constant evolving and reinterpretations

Becoming the one on the spotlight

From playing in the light and loosing itself in the sum of other sounds

To breaking through in the stillness under full moon light.

Too many sounds to hear the melody right.

Slowly settling in,

Quieting down

Being able to hear the solo clearly.

The gentleness emerging through, no less powerful, yet coming through, continuously playing on.

Dark was coming

In the dusk the screen projection was becoming more visible

Both the real with more spotlight and the projection becoming more visible because of the dimming of the light.

There is more to see in the darkness

Too afraid to look within

So uncomfortable you would leave the concert without hearing the final song

Go speak up, don’t give in to shyness sneaking in your belly and driving you away.

Stay there, don’t run if best is yet to come.

It’s real, it’s disturbing, the audience says shhh and says go out

Even that witnessing being so uncomfortable you would really leave

And miss the beauty that came at the end

What’s with curiosity to know what it was that disturbed that solo in the night

Under the spotlight of a full moon shining on the conflict so bright.

That moment is gone and what exactly happened will stay unknown,

The last song was beautiful and the persistence evenmore.

The wild dogs were chasing a pray

Under the light of the moon

And we were chasing wild dogs

Following the movement of going after and stopping after failing to get the pray.

Regathering, slowing down

Drinking water infused with reflection of the moon.

Resetting, accumulating, accelerating.

New pray, run again.

Returning home in anticipation of cosines and shelter,

With the spotlight we became aware

Of the life of a Leopard

Moving unbothered with the light that we were shining

At the bottom of the mountains.

He moves with grace and elegance

Creating magic beauty

With laser focus, taking time

moving on and not forgotten.

In the silence all echoes more,

The stillness interrupted gives fright for the unseen, unexpected

until you feel safe enough to be afraid and then you might not scream anymore

you might see the lion facing you

and your courage will keep you there

for this marvelous encounter.

I needed my sister to love this man and stand in the middle of the night up in the room we were sharing,

To marvel the moon that made her moonstruck

And my gaze following her hypnotic state

To see the magic of the full bright circle

Casting shadows even at night,

Showing the invisible paths on any other night.

For the star light is never so bright to show as much as moonlight.

They were hunting at night or time before

Now resting in savannah

Their footprints led us there

To circles they have left behind

From starting to completion.

In the silence there is gratitude for all

The gratitude for gift of being here and more before merging back into circle.

It was dormant

Like a sleeping beauty

Being caught in thorns, closed

With a fading memory of being alive.

Then one day all that was dreamt was dreamt

All that needed to be still within rested

The rose planted in the garden blossomed slowly in deep magenta colour

With softness and thorns together.

Then it stopped the blossom and grew a bit more.

Her name is Granny’s pride and she flowers in the garden.

And so you are back.

From the mystery of the dark you dared to be alive again

To feel the breath,

Sharing it with Earth,

Become one with the morning sound of birds,

Reach with your arm under the fresh flow of water,

Feeling the flares of the evening fire warming you up,

Holding a doorhandle and open with determination,

To celebrate life.

close your eyes and listen: Nature at play and Yo Yo Ma

Patience as a Way of Bearing Witness

  • Patience as a Way of Bearing Witness

Patience as a Way of Bearing Witness

In my last blog, I wrote about the intentions behind my declaration: “I am committed to making decisions based on Love and Respect.” One intention was: “My intention is to have the patience to stay present and compassionate with myself until clarity emerges.” This inspired today’s post, where I explore patience as a practice of bearing witness.

In Buddhist mindfulness practice, patience is called khanti pāramī. Seeing patience through this lens highlights its deeper meaning: the willingness to endure, stay present, and witness experiences we may not want to feel. Khanti is one of the ten perfections of the heart, the pāramitās, which include:

  • Generosity (Dāna)
  • Virtue (Sīla)
  • Renunciation (Nekkhamma)
  • Wisdom (Paññā)
  • Energy (Viriya)
  • Patience (Khanti)
  • Truthfulness (Sacca)
  • Determination (Adhiṭṭhāna)
  • Lovingkindness (Mettā)
  • Equanimity (Upekkhā)

These qualities gradually transform the heart, creating the conditions for awakening. Cultivating patience, generosity, and determination helps release habits that fuel greed, aversion, and confusion. With this foundation, the four brahmavihāras—lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity—arise more naturally.

What Patience Teaches Us

Patience is about staying with discomfort, uncertainty, or pain without pushing it away. It also means restraining the urge to act out of avoidance or grasping. Practicing khanti has helped me:

  • Balance doing and non-doing, action and inaction
  • Discern when to wait and when to act
  • Trust my inner knowing
  • Move through discomfort without giving up
  • Meet challenges with courage and faith
  • Notice reactive impulses and respond wisely

We often think of patience in terms of its opposite—impatience—which brings restlessness, irritation, and frustration.  I learned to link the patience  to  constancy, resilience, trust, and believing.

Three Key Aspects

  1. Recognizing reactivity
  2. Enduring without losing motivation
  3. Accepting things as they are while still moving toward change

Practicing Patience Daily

  • Mindful Awareness: Observe thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment or the need to fix them.
  • Receiving with Kindness: Open your heart to difficult feelings with compassion.
  • Steadiness Amidst Change: Cultivate a grounded presence through the breath.

We can support our practice by drawing strength from spiritual friendships, meaningful texts, and connection to a more awakened heart–mind. Reflecting on difficulty—especially in relationships—helps us notice when our body interprets situations as attacks and transform them into opportunities for growth.

Ask yourself today:

  • Where could I benefit from being more patient with myself or others?
  • Where could staying present bring more clarity?

With time, as we move through layers of protection, we start seeing the gold in us.

With Warmth, Be

Living From Love & Respect: The Power of Intention

  • Living From Love & Respect: The Power of Intention

Living From Love & Respect: The Power of Intention

 Every moment offers us a choice:
to react from old patterns of fear or to respond from a deeper wisdom rooted in Love.

Today, I’m exploring a simple but powerful declaration that can guide daily life and inner growth:

I am committed to making decisions based on Love and Respect.

This declaration becomes a way of living when we support it with conscious intentions—inner agreements that anchor us in the values we choose to embody.

What Is an Intention?

An intention is a clearly directed focus of energy. It expresses how we choose to show up, rather than what we want to achieve.

Unlike goals, which are future-oriented and outcome-driven, intentions bring us into the present. They help align our inner world—our thoughts, emotions, and actions—with who we wish to be.

Lynne McTaggart describes intention as a directed thought with the power to affect physical reality. Her work suggests that deeply held intention is not merely a mental exercise, but a measurable energetic force that interacts with the world. When intention is held with emotional coherence—especially with the vibration of love—it becomes even more potent. When this intention is done with the feeling of Oneness, it amplifies.

Intentions are reminders that help return us to the heart.
They shape our responses, deepen our awareness, and nourish the qualities we want to live by.

Why Intentions Support This Declaration

To live from Love and Respect, we need internal structures that help us align with these values, especially in challenging moments.
Intentions:

  • Bring us back to presence
  • Soften reactive patterns
  • Invite curiosity over judgment
  • Encourage grounded, loving decision-making

They create an inner environment where behavior naturally aligns with our declaration, rather than relying on willpower alone.

Supportive Intentions

Below are intention statements that help anchor the declaration
“I am committed to making decisions based on Love and Respect.”
They are grouped by theme so you can use them as daily reflections, journaling prompts, or spiritual practices.

1) Self-Care & Vitality

  • My intention is to take care of my body in ways that support health, vitality, and a loving relationship with myself.

2) Emotional Awareness & Inner Hygiene

  • My intention is to regularly check in with my feelings, emotions, and beliefs, holding each with nurturing energy and non-judgment.
  • My intention is to have the patience to stay present and compassionate with myself until clarity emerges.

3) Healing Limiting Patterns

  • My intention is to notice when I am interpreting life through limiting beliefs, past wounding, or low self-worth, and allow a more loving perspective.
  • It is my intention to immediately, permanently, and completely release the trapped emotion of confusion so that my decision-making flows with clarity, confidence, and discernment.

4) Truth, Integrity & Courage

  • My intention is to cultivate the courage to speak up with kindness, honesty, and integrity.
  • My intention is to bravely confront the truth within me, without hiding, denying, or creating inner conflict.

5) Self-Compassion & Worthiness

  • My intention is to speak kindly about myself, acknowledging my worth and inherent goodness.

6) Presence in Relationships & Community

  • My intention is to remain grounded, flexible, connected to my inner strength, and clear in my focus when I am in groups or in partnership.

You can either just hope that you will make the decision based on Love and respect or you can actively engage in small broken down intentions that support you being in the right space to do so. In this blog I have offered some prompts for smaller intentions that can support your path. Use them as prompts to create your intentions, in a language that resonates with you.

Making Decisions Based on Love and Respect — What Does It Really Mean?

  • Making Decisions Based on Love and Respect — What Does It Really Mean?

Making Decisions Based on Love and Respect — What Does It really mean?

This month I’m continuing the theme of decision-making.

My Why

On the landing page of my website, I share the purpose behind my coaching:

“To empower you to consciously make decisions based on love and respect.”

But what does that really mean in daily life?

The Power of the Pause

For me, it starts with one simple but profound practice:
pausing before reacting.

When something triggers me, I ask myself:

  • Am I reacting from fear, frustration or impatience?
  • Which inner voice am I listening to right now?

This idea is beautifully captured in a well-known quote by Viktor Frankl:

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

That space — even if it’s just a breath — gives us the freedom to choose love over reaction.

Growing Into Love and Respect

Choosing love and respect isn’t always easy. It often requires:

  • Support to help us stay accountable
  • Self-awareness to see what drives our reactions
  • Compassion for ourselves and others
  • Better communication skills for building healthy relationships

It’s not about perfection — it’s about intention.

When you act from a trigger, comparison to others, step out of the alignment with your own path, you meet yourself with understanding instead of self-judgement. By releasing self-criticism and comparison, you create inner safety needed to realign with yourself.

How It Looks in Daily Life

Here are a few simple examples of what decision-making from love and respect can look like:

In Conversations

Instead of trying to win an argument, choose to listen deeply. Even in disagreement, you can honour someone’s humanity.

In Relationships

Love is shown in small, consistent gestures — a gentle tone, an apology, patience when it’s difficult.

In Self-Care

Respect includes honouring yourself. Saying “no” when something isn’t right is just as loving as saying “yes”.

A Daily Choice

Every day gives us hundreds of chances to choose:

  • Reaction or intention
  • Fear or love

Each time we choose love and respect — even in small moments — we create a ripple effect.
Our homes shift. Our relationships soften. Even strangers feel safer around us.

Love and respect are not just feelings — they are daily choices.
And when we make them consistently, they become our way of life.

If you haven’t read my previous posts on this topic, you can explore them here:

Ready to Live More From Love?

If you feel ready to make that commitment: To make conscious choices based on Love and respect,  I’d be honoured to walk beside you.

Would you like support in practicing this in your own life?
You’re welcome to reach out for a free discovery session. Together we can explore what your next loving decision might look like.

 

With warmth, Be

Does changing my mind make me less a reliable person of integrity?

  • Does changing my mind make me less a reliable person of integrity?

Does changing my mind make me less a reliable person of integrity?

There has been something in my belief system that found safety in believing that being in integrity means making a decision and not changing it. Almost to a degree of no matter what.

I have a sense that among the population of other “perfectionists” out there I might not be the only one.

When we accept that people change, circumstances change, that we are a constant work in progress, always becoming more whole if we are willing to heal the aspects of us through the experiences that life offers us, then we can have a greater understanding and allowing for us to change our decisions.

Integrity isn’t rigid. It is not about never changing. It is about being honest, responsible and aligned with values.

Changing your mind can be in integrity in situations:

 

  • When you got new information – about situation, other person or realization about your own values and priorities
  • You said yes to something under pressure or in haste (example: you said yes to please or out of guilt and later realize you don’t have capacity to do so)
  • Ethical issues arise (example: you later realize that decision goes against your values and you weren’t aware before)
  • Your needs or goals have changed 

  • You have realized that the decision you made before is based on fear, past beliefs and limitations

  • When you manage to communicate the change of mind clearly and respectfully to those it affects
  • You are aware of the impact of your original decision and the change and you make your best to minimize the negative impact on others
  • You are not avoiding or going along with old after you have realized new based on you or circumstances changing.

The word that works best for me to communicate a change in my decision: “I have realized.”

“After thinking more about my values and commitment to make decisions based on love and respect, I  have realized it’s not aligned with what’s truly right for me right now and aligned with me anymore.  I want to be honest about that rather than continue with something that no longer feels right.”

When would changing your mind compromise Integrity

You notice that you are changing your mind often and it has become a repeating pattern and you don’t do it with awareness and skilful communication.

You avoid hard conversations/conflict or use “changing your mind” to avoid responsibility.

You make changes that harm others without acknowledging that.

When you waited too long to communicate a change in your decision because of being uncomfortable and it creates a logistical problem for others involved.

What will people think?

Sometimes what is holding us back to be in integrity and changing our decision is the inner voice that says “what will they think of me?” – if the decision is a bit out of the box for example. I believe when there is enough inner security, clarity, self-love, then these things prevail and give wind to courage to go in communication and be transparent. It is wise and loving to self and others to use appropriate timing, context, reasons for change to communicate the change.

How to change your mind respectfully:

Be transparent – Explain why you’ve reconsidered.

Take responsibility – Acknowledge the impact of your initial decision and your reversal.

Offer alternatives – If appropriate and really your responsibility, propose solutions or compromises.

Communicate respectfully and promptly – The sooner you communicate your change of mind, the better.

To sum up… Integrity isn’t about being consistent no matter what and never changing your mind. It is about being honest with yourself and others, aligned with what you believe and value. And sometimes we realize more of who we are only when we have already made a decision.

For those of us with perfectionist tendencies, the idea that changing our minds makes us less reliable or less in integrity can feel uncomfortable. Something in us wants to stick to “but it is the right thing to do because I already said so”. When we embrace the reality, change, we free ourselves from rigid perfectionism. Decisions made in haste, under pressure, or without full awareness can be reassessed.

Changing your mind can actually be a powerful act of integrity because it means you are striving to make the best decision in alignment with your values and coming from a more honest, more aware, healthier version of you.

Integrity is about showing up authentically, even when the path shifts. It’s about honesty, transparency, and being willing to adjust course with respect and care for both yourself and others.

And when in doubt, a simple, “I’ve realized…” can be the gateway to clarity and authenticity.

Trust yourself, communicate with love, and stay true to your evolving self.

With warmth, Be

The Compass Within: Walking Through Life with Heart–Brain Coherence

  • The Compass Within: Walking Through Life with Heart–Brain Coherence

The Compass Within:

Walking Through Life with Heart–Brain Coherence

The Compass Within: Walking Through Life with Heart–Brain Coherence

Decisions made in the rush of everyday life are frequently the result of automatic responses—snap decisions influenced by stress, prior experiences, or outside forces.

How to create more space in Life for decisions that are more aligned with what really brings you Joy?

In this article I have combined knowledge from MBA Creativity innovation and change course, Holistic coaching, Heartmath and personal experience. The result is Clarity compass. An approach that can support you make decisions that bring you inner peace.

Transitioning from Reactivity to Free Will

Stress and emotional triggers frequently cause reactivity, which results in impulsive rather than deliberate decision-making. Achieving heart-brain coherence promotes calmness in trying circumstances by lessening the negative effects of stresses on the body and mind.

You can develop mental clarity and emotional stability by using coherence techniques, which enable you to make decisions that are consistent with your actual goals and values.

So often we seek direction, answers, guidance, a way forward.
The outward ideas can help us perhaps gain clarity and more information on the topic.

Your clarity compass  is within you.  It requires having patience and self-compassion to sit with yourself and contemplate what matters to you, what is going on inside you.

I have read somewhere that contemplate actually means residing in your own temple. The temple of my heart-brain connection. I loved this explanation.

While on my summer vacation last year, I came across a little shop on the island Vis in Croatia. Before I went on vacation I promised myself I will get myself a new pendant. Somehow, the circumstances led me to this small store, where I was able to get what I wanted in less than five minutes. These circumstances alone would make for a fantastic story, but that is not what I am writing here. This necklace with a north star pendant is located near my heart. This now serves as my compass for decision-making.

The Clarity Compass is not a formula—it’s a gentle unfolding.
It invites you to align first… then act. It is a guideline and reminder how to make choices that get you more inner peace with decisions you make.

Step 1: Clarify Intent

What do you truly want?
Let your longing speak without judgment. Let it lead.

Step 2: Gather & Incubate

Be open. Let ideas and insights arrive softly.
Loosen your grip on “how.” Just be curious.

Step 3: Generate & Play

Stretch, play, imagine.
This is where creativity lives—free from outcome, rich with possibility.

Step 4: Evaluate & Balance

Return to center.
Ask: What feels most aligned? What honors the whole of me?

Step 5: Decide & Act

When mind and heart are coherent, your action becomes sacred.
It is no longer rushed. It is clear. It is yours.

Heart–Brain Coherence

This is the true north star .
The place where doing flows from being.
Where peace meets momentum.

Before the next step… pause.
Breathe.
Align.
Then move forward with heart.

What Is Heart-Brain Coherence?

Heart-brain coherence refers to a harmonious state where the heart’s rhythmic patterns synchronize with brainwave activity. This alignment enhances emotional regulation, cognitive function, and overall well-being. Practices like heart-focused breathing and cultivating positive emotions can foster this coherence, leading to improved focus, clarity, and decision-making abilities.

Integrating Evidence-Based Decision-Making

Drawing from frameworks like the Open University MBA, effective decision-making involves a structured approach:

  1. Problem Identification: Recognizing a problem or opportunity.
  2. Information Gathering: Collecting relevant data and information.
  3. Alternatives Generation: Developing various possible solutions.
  4. Analysis: Evaluating each alternative using data, models, or intuition.
  5. Decision Making: Choosing the best solution.
  6. Implementation: Putting the chosen solution into action.
  7. Evaluation and Feedback: Monitoring the results and adjusting if needed.

This structured approach, combined with heart-brain coherence, ensures decisions are both informed and aligned with personal values.

The Role of Decisional Balance

Incorporating Margaret Moore’s Holistic Coaching approach, the concept of decisional balance plays a crucial role in understanding motivation and facilitating change. This technique involves:

  • Identifying Pros and Cons: Assessing the benefits and drawbacks of a decision.
  • Exploring Values Alignment: Ensuring the decision aligns with personal values and long-term goals.
  • Recognizing Emotional Drivers: Understanding the emotional factors influencing the decision-making process.

By guiding clients through this process, coaches can help individuals gain clarity, reduce ambivalence, and make choices that are congruent with their authentic selves.

The Incubation Phase in Decision-Making

An essential component of the Open University MBA’s decision-making framework is the incubation phase. This phase involves:

  • Allowing Time for Reflection: Stepping away from the problem to let subconscious processing occur.
  • Encouraging Creativity: Engaging in activities that stimulate creative thinking and problem-solving.
  • Seeking Diverse Perspectives: Consulting with others to gain different viewpoints and insights.

By incorporating this incubation phase, individuals can enhance their decision-making process, leading to more innovative and effective solutions.

Practical Steps to Cultivate Coherence

  1. Heart-Focused Breathing: Sit comfortably, focus on your heart area, and breathe slowly and deeply, imagining each breath flowing in and out of your heart.
  2. Positive Emotions: Cultivate feelings of gratitude, appreciation, or love. Reflect on positive aspects of your life or envision a peaceful scenario.
  3. Regular Practice: Engage in these practices daily to strengthen the heart-brain connection and enhance coherence.

The clarity compass is already within you, but sometimes we all need a witness to our thoughts and wording or someone who can support you through this process.  

From sept 24- june 25 every Monday I would run a Monday online 30 min heart-brain coherence practice group and on Tuesdays in person Mindful motherhood group. Participants of both groups found it really beneficial in keeping the commitment to practices that enhance coherence and their relationships got better. 

If you would like also such support in the process, contact me to get more information on the group or individual guided practice. 

❤️ With warmth, Be