Create more space for trust and be free

Create more space for trust and be free

There are couple of great journals out there that can support your personal growth. My favorite journaling experiences were: Brene Brown, The gift of imperfection,  and Glennon Doyle Untamed.  

In my experience finding a good friend with whom you can share a journey can be a fun way that also supports you to express in words and have inner discipline to gain clarity. When you get together for sharing, either on a walk or coffee, lunch, this becomes a nice social activity, where you also have a safe space to be listened to and for you to listen to another person and through listening other perspective widen yours.

Currently I am with Michael Singer’s Untethered soul, Practices to journey beyond yourself,  and my journaling partner is a fellow coach and a close friend.

Compared to the other experience this journey includes a lot of mindfulness practices (which I can recognize from the course for Mindfulness meditation teachers) and a bit less artistic then the previous two. Saying that though I still need to remind myself how actually mindful practices bring me to a present moment, to connection with my body and breath, how I do manage to become aware more what is a thought and how to come into the stillness of my being. It is there I find more peace, love and freedom. This can sound a bit like a hippy, at least that is my judgement. However with being grounded in everyday life, family, work and practices this becomes more a way of inner being with a lot of sober seeing the truth, the mix of feelings and emotions and the ability to skillfully hold it  all.

I am choosing one part from the Journaling practices that I find useful (M.Singer, p. 160)

“You think about your psychological well-being all the time. That constant, anxious inner talk is a form of suffering.

 Have you noticed how many personal thoughts are going on all the time. The next time you notice fearful thoughts, pause for a moment. Ask yourself if you want to be that person or do you want to be free?”

Making friends with your monkey mind

… While driving on Sunday to our family Sunday lunch I shared that with my husband that I was preparing earlier for the Mindfulness of thoughts meditation I was about to guide on Monday. He first asked me but how does that go together meditation Mindfulness of thoughts? Isn’t meditation supposed to be about quieting and being without thoughts?

I was so happy he asked that and offer me an opportunity to practice the answer to that question which is so frequent for all people who are starting with meditation.

So when we do a formal sitting meditation, we let go of the expectation that there will be no thoughts. Our mind secrets thoughts. To have the expectation that it just quiets down is a bit far reached. When we start with the breath, we can be with a breath for a while, feel the body, and after a while there the thoughts start appearing. In our daily lives people often without realizing just get lost in thoughts or follow a stream of thoughts that Is actually not serving them.

In the mindfulness of thoughts practice we practice becoming aware that we are thinking, naming our thoughts, not pushing them away, maybe with some thoughts staying and feeling into the underlying feeling tone, without getting lost in the depth of that thought. What we do, is befriending our thought.  When we allow it to sit right there, as it is, without going further into planning, or making scenarios, or getting lost in memory, we notice the stillness and spaciousness within. This way we just made friend with our monkey mind and that is a gateway to more peace within.

If you want to work deeper with thoughts – those thoughts that you would define as judgement or belief, i would encourage to journal them and use your writing as an anchor to really work with them. Byron Katie in her book for example states the following:

“Once the mind is stopped on paper, thoughts remain stable, and inquiry can easily be applied. Avoid
the temptation to continue without writing down your judgments. If you
try to do The Work in your head, without putting your thoughts on paper,
the mind will outsmart you.
” (from “Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life” by Byron Katie, Stephen Mitchell)