Realizations

  • Realizations

Realizations

As a gift to myself to my upcoming birthday I have asked my friend Claire who runs a writing temple,  a kahuna therapist and lover of poetry to guide me through some inspiration for new writing.

We went to a beautiful garden (the photo above Claire took) and this is the writing from this day:

 

 

REALIZATIONS…

 

The family came picking up chestnuts and the girl picked one up and said: look what I have found! The chestnut opened and there was both a spiky shell and the fruit inside.

 

One tree leaning towards other, the other ones branches reaching to the one next, yet it is very clear they are two of them, shaping the window of possibility and openness.

 

The bridge, soft and rounded fence,

Gently resting in front.

Thank you for the warning, it may come handy some day, but today is not the day.

 

That day came when she realized she was lit,

That with being lit, she is living her purpose.

Together with the flame, the candle gave light where they were placed.

The flame needed the candle to rest there burning, the candle needed the flame to give light.

 

(B.C. 04.09.2024)

 

Get familiar with your saboteurs – improve wellbeing and relationships

  • Get familiar with your saboteurs – improve wellbeing and relationships

Get familiar with your saboteurs -

improve wellbeing and relationships

In the program 9 steps for inner peace the second triad in the model is named Allowing your wants. 

In allowing your wants we are looking into liberating yourself, which literally means how to get out of the prison of “shoulds”, guilt and shame.

These ideas and emotional blocks often prevent the clarity around what are actually our true heart desires. They are the protectors of fears, that we have developed sometime along our path in the life.  They are the “I can’t”, “What will people think” sort of thoughts. They are the addictions, jealousy, bitterness, underlying issues of “ I don’t deserve to be happy”, “ not enough” syndrome kind of sources of behavior.

Part of this path of liberation is to get familiar with your saboteurs and develop more sage power. This concept of saboteur and sage was developed by Shirzad Chamine

Positive intelligence. He has identified one master saboteur and named it The judge.

When you work through The judge and various variations of it towards self, others and situations, it is helpful to identify the energy of this judge, the look and how it steals your perspective from your higher wisdom.

Besides Shirzad concept, there is also another aspect of saboteur, that holds a different energy that is also useful to get familiar with. The name of this one is The Brat. (Dora and Angelo Frasco, Healing course). You recognize the brat by quite immature, childish, sulking, walking away, avoiding, “not dealing with the issue in a mature way” kind of energy.

Both the judge and the brat would paint out an image of reality that seems so believable, but there is underlying fear and the choice you would be making for your behavior and decisions would be based on fear.

In a book Breaking free Overcoming Self sabotage (Linda Ellis Eastman and contributing authors) the following chapters give a great insight into what are we working through when we decide to develop more sage capacity in ourself and move more into our original essence. The chapters are:  How to built healthy self esteem&stand up to your internal saboteur; Negative self-talk; Stop with the cruel words; Sabotage: the consequence of fear;  De-clutter your mind; I am enough; learning to love yourself.

How do we work with these aspects of ourselves that are kind of protecting us, and yet it is not a protection that would serve our highest. Every time you manage to catch the saboteur, it is like overcoming a threshold  guardian in a video game, which if you do manage to catch it and act from your wisdom, it is your entrance to level 2, to celebration, to more alignment.

Here are 7 tips that support you  to break free from your self-sabotage :

  • Keeping yourself in contact with your body and presence in now with mindfulness breaks – setting a healthy clean body and clarity of mind
  • Getting familiar with your judge and brat – energy and appearance
  • Celebrating little steps of changing your course of thoughts
  • Practicing lovingkidness and self compassion and compassion for others
  • Intentionally reestablishing connection with your essence and self-worth
  • Allowing time to sit with yourself and inquiry without being scattered and restless
  • Having courage to articulate your decisions with kindness to others

Noticing your attitude when meditating: combining discipline and enjoyment

  • Noticing your attitude when meditating: combining discipline and enjoyment

Noticing your attitude when meditating: combining discipline and enjoyment

It has been a fun month. Some challenges in between and lots to be grateful for. Above all I was resting more, sleeping longer, allowing more space. Summer in Europe, winter in South Africa.

I was exploring how can I be devoted to the journey of chosen self-development with finding my own way of keeping the promises to myself and not being rigid about it, or forceful.

I know that daily meditation practice is part of my daily hygiene to collect myself, ground, center in my heart, remind myself on the intention. And that knowing has just naturally became part of me. However,  at one point though I observed that it has moved from the energy of Love to energy of Duty, which brought in somewhat mechanic feeling.

With that I gave myself permission to let go a bit, what happens if I allow myself to sleep a little longer, when would I actually feel from inside to sit down for my practice?

I think I just really needed the rest and some relaxation. In this month I posed a question what is a way that there is some discipline and also enjoyment?

The result was a feeling of deeper settling in my heart, a certain relaxed open spaciousness in my heart space and breath. It felt good and nourishing.

I am curious now to explore further with autumn routines and kids starting school again, where is this practice going to find its place again somewhat organically, aligned with my overall intention of gentle, appropriate, to my Highest. With sobriety, openness and curiosity I will explore the unknown, follow the true heart feeling and observe.

Coming home

  • Coming home

Practicing coming home to myself

Last month I was listening to Lama Rod online as part of the mindfulness meditation teacher training.  Lama Rod Owens is an author, activist, and authorized Lama (Buddhist teacher) in the Kagyu school of Tibetan Buddhism.  I recommend his book Love and Rage: The Path of Liberation Through Anger and a coauthor of Radical Dharma: Talking Race, Love, and Liberation.

Since listening that online presentation and reading his book I am consciously including the 5/7 homecomings he writes about in my practice.

  • silence
  • community i am part of
  • sacred earth
  • ourselves (all our energetic bodies, gratitude)
  • ancestry

    The journey of the soul

    • The journey of the soul

    When the calling comes

    This month I got inspired to return back to my art creations under mentorship  of Katherine Bull. (http://www.katherinebull.co.za/about/).

    It took me couple of months to follow through my intention. I gathered some of collage material in July. This collage  on right was on the art session also supported with connecting to a specific energy of a crystal and my initial material was complemented by blind choosing from Katherine’s materials and I have added in some color with ink.

    Now I am so happy I created space and time to do it.  This is one way of cultivating happiness. Listening to your soul calling you to create something, move, listen…

    What is your soul’s calling?

    green amethyst connection collage

    I am connected

    • I am connected

    "My roots reach deeply, I am connected to the core of me"

    On the morning of my morning walk in the forest today

    My mantra today was

    “My roots reach deeply

    I am connected to the core of me”

    This is part of the lyrics of the “I am connected” by Beautiful Chorus

    For me in singing those lines

    feeling the connection between the nature and myself

    I enter the feeling that enables all other feelings to be

    And still be still like a mountain a tree with all that.

    Feeling of Belonging

    • Feeling of Belonging

    Feeling of belonging and connection

    Feeling of longing familiar to many people. I am no exception. Often this longing also includes a further illusion, fantasy that is a coping strategy to escape even more out of the present and body to the mind. Instead of getting more in touch with the uncomfortable, you go away in something that creates a further longing, desire. Have you ever thought how close are words Longing and Be(longing)? The journey to add Be to Longing is what Michael Singer in his podcast from Fighting to Harmony describes when we stop fighting with “No, I don’t want this, I want that. “ In Enneagram1 word and embodiment practices this means learning more about Willfulness, Will and Willingness. How do we do that? By practicing mindfulness, sitting, establishing true intimacy with self.

     

    A true feeling of Belonging is possible only when we are connected with our bodies. That is the core message of Sebene Selassie in her book You Belong (2020)  Chapter 3 is a great read on how to Ground yourself in your body.

    In the 9 steps to inner peace coaching program we usually start with establish ing a good connection with body. We use the body guidebook that I have gathered from my studies with Hippocrates institute, Mindfulness meditation teacher course, Breath coaching course. The guidebook includes essential topics for  a solid, grounded body. Session 1 of the guidebook is all about body connection.

    I want to share here couple of lines that Sebene writes on belonging (Selassie, 2020, p. 74)

    1. Belonging is: we belong simply because we are alive
    2. Belonging is in the present moment- if you choose to open to it. *My comment: this is such an important point. It reminds us that the feeling can dissipate if we don’t cultivate presence and high frequency in our body. It explains to be why sometimes I totally feel connected to people I meet and some other time I feel like looking for reasons for separation from other people. At the end this is an outer representation of my own quality of being. And as life goes, it is inevitable that we go through challenges and if in those times we do not know how to respond in a skillful way, with compassion we can notice that we are closing off, we don’t want some feelings to be part of us and it’s even hard to recognize them, let alone welcome them and say You belong. You too, are my beloved.
    3. Belonging is revealed through awareness: when we cultivate the capacity to know what is happening in any moment, the we can connect to belonging
    4. Belonging is embodied: We can only experience belonging in these bodies.

     

    People

    • People

    People who need people

    This is an amazing performance of Barbra Streisand classic People. I have been doing a lot of observing and learning on the topic of Belonging and connection. One Wednesday as we were doing our usual group meditation and the feeling was connection and belonging was present, this  song “People” and the feeling of the community and being part of the greater whole came to awareness.

    When i was looking through the lyrics of this song, I found these lines meaningful:

    :We’re children, needing other childrenAnd yet letting a grown-up prideHide all the need insideActing more like children than children”

    “No more hunger and thirstBut first be a person who needs people”

    I guide in the 9 steps to inner peace my clients to first come in touch with their needs, stay in touch with their bodies, without separating their mind, body and soul and prioritize their needs. Yes, there is a mindfulness involved to discern between indulgence and taking proper care of your needs. Often I work with this topic with the Ennea1 and 2 energy. Both energies are inclined to have their own right way of idea of helping others and using mainly their energy to fix, help on the outside, to the other and have difficulty to connect with their own emotions, feelings and needs. Through re-establishing connection with the body, we are putting a new foundation to relationship with self and others.

    Trust

    • Trust

    Trustfall

    by Pink

    Last week we dedicated to explore the topic of emotions, feelings, interpretations and integrity with the AEIOU Breakhtrough women group.

    Beyond all specific names a lot of our live is driven by fear and protection, some from love.

    Fear and protection are emotions: doubt, anger, control, pride, envy.

    Love is joy, peace, content, happy, wonder, bliss.

    In this life it is part of us to feel fear. Sometimes it is there with a good reason and really save’s our life, sometimes it keeps us in the cage of familiar and away from freedom.

    My aspiration would be to recognize the fear, so that I can make a conscious choice to live a soul aligned life. To recognize the saboteur that shows up in the name of fear and protection. So eloquent, so wise, so persuasive. In Buddhist term my aspiration would be to say “I see you Mara” and have the patience and self compassion to sit down with it with the intention of making a choice. And sometimes when we recognize that we have been holding on to something old because of a feeling of security,  the choice might be to let go of that, recognize the fear behind holding on, and taking a Trustfall.

    From Pink’s Lyrics:

    “Go where love is on our sideIt’s a trust fall, babyIt’s a trust fall, baby”

    All of me integration

    • All of me integration

    One of the continuous workshops I attend annually is In Pursuit of Authentic Self.

    When i started this work i thought, why would one do a workshop with same title every year?

    But in consistency, there is growth and taking note of growth.

    We are changing all the time, evolving doesn’t stop.  There is shedding off the limitations and gaining inner power in being more of yourself. Knowing yourself and loving yourself more with all there is.

    On one occasion on this growth I have written this poem. Pls read it in a way of understanding that this doesn’t mean “here brilliant, done that” it means what i was able to process heal, i have integrated and then continue.

     

    What is on the surface and what is in the depth

    Become one

    Integrated in all of me.

    What is it the parts that I am leaving out

    Like someone drawing a self portrait

    And doesn’t notice he didn’t draw his ears

    Or neck or brows

    What I am not noticing that I am leaving
    out

    Which part of me,

    Has vowed to burry so deep that I forgot it
    ever existed?

    Whenever there is a burial

    There is a leaving behind

    There is a sorrow of aolean scale

    “You” brings in the myxolidian scale, the
    joy.

    The new soul, reborn, integrated in true
    nature

    Seeing myself wholly.

    Old stories let go

    Let me see new world and new me in it.