Give her permission,
Have the power
In her wavy dress,
to hold the reins
Of a mighty dragon
Defying the wind
With a sword
Commanding with the heart made from fire.
Only when the dragon would lay down
On soft and nurturing soil
Under tree fern leaves reflecting little waterdrops,
She would lay down with him, calm,
Earth wind metal and fire
Finally at rest.
B.C.
The flickering sounds of the fire in stillness
burning away the willfulness
floating On the holy river
like drop of water in the ocean
One falling into the One,
echoing the encounter,
Spreading stillness in the circles.
One falling into One.
The silence of potential,
What I feel
is unclear,
can my experience turn into exponential?
feeling Unity within
the connection becomes real.
I know I am here,
My body can dance out
This mess
Unknown to my words to express.
The dissonance between things
sways with the lightness of being
what more am I seeing
further from limitation blinded before by believing.
On the bar codes of consciousness
Falling like drops from the sky
I surrender my resistance, my control, my illusions
Less judgement – more trust
With open arms embracing a stranger
To feel welcomed
Body reassured
Relaxing into wonder.
Loving with opened eyes
Laughing with opened chest
Embracing with joyful heart.
This is an amazing performance of Barbra Streisand classic People. I have been doing a lot of observing and learning on the topic of Belonging and connection. One Wednesday as we were doing our usual group meditation and the feeling was connection and belonging was present, this song “People” and the feeling of the community and being part of the greater whole came to awareness.
When i was looking through the lyrics of this song, I found these lines meaningful:
:We’re children, needing other childrenAnd yet letting a grown-up prideHide all the need insideActing more like children than children”
“No more hunger and thirstBut first be a person who needs people”
I guide in the 9 steps to inner peace my clients to first come in touch with their needs, stay in touch with their bodies, without separating their mind, body and soul and prioritize their needs. Yes, there is a mindfulness involved to discern between indulgence and taking proper care of your needs. Often I work with this topic with the Ennea1 and 2 energy. Both energies are inclined to have their own right way of idea of helping others and using mainly their energy to fix, help on the outside, to the other and have difficulty to connect with their own emotions, feelings and needs. Through re-establishing connection with the body, we are putting a new foundation to relationship with self and others.
Last week we dedicated to explore the topic of emotions, feelings, interpretations and integrity with the AEIOU Breakhtrough women group.
Beyond all specific names a lot of our live is driven by fear and protection, some from love.
Fear and protection are emotions: doubt, anger, control, pride, envy.
Love is joy, peace, content, happy, wonder, bliss.
In this life it is part of us to feel fear. Sometimes it is there with a good reason and really save’s our life, sometimes it keeps us in the cage of familiar and away from freedom.
My aspiration would be to recognize the fear, so that I can make a conscious choice to live a soul aligned life. To recognize the saboteur that shows up in the name of fear and protection. So eloquent, so wise, so persuasive. In Buddhist term my aspiration would be to say “I see you Mara” and have the patience and self compassion to sit down with it with the intention of making a choice. And sometimes when we recognize that we have been holding on to something old because of a feeling of security, the choice might be to let go of that, recognize the fear behind holding on, and taking a Trustfall.
From Pink’s Lyrics:
“Go where love is on our sideIt’s a trust fall, babyIt’s a trust fall, baby”
Last Friday, 17.2.2023, I had an opportunity to talk about Self compassion, emotional resilience and decision making in collaborations as part of the AEIOU breakthrough female leaders.
I have described self – compassion as a gateway to more authentic me. It is linked to our ability to hold ourselves when the feelings of pain, shame, guilt, self-judgement come up. It enables us to see more of who we are with self honesty.
According to the research that dr. Kirstin Neff did there are three components of self compassion:
– Self kindness – connected to the deep feeling of Care, so we are able to hold ourselves in whatever feeling is coming up, recognizing harsh words and judgements toward self and asking ourselves Is this kind? Is this loving to myself? Would I actually say this to someone I love and care for?
– Common humanity – realizing it’s not just you feeling i.e. envy and judging it. Being able to take an emotion that we label with judgement and take It
– Opening up to broader perspective: What else could be the reason?, What else could this mean?
Tending from this energy to our own feelings, naming them, is process of holding ourselves with gentleness. This energy is gentle, tender.
However, as the title of a book Fierce self compassion indicates, there is another facet of self compassion. Fierce self compassion. This is linked to action and assertiveness. To step from the victim to taking charge. This energy is very close to anger. Kirstin Neff mentions constructive anger. To be able to handle that facet of compassion appropriately is still a process of learning and exploring for me. I have witnessed destructive anger inside and outside of myself and now learning more and more to use this energy from the place of a firm “no”, from the center of knowing myself and honoring what my emotions are saying and what my feelings are, what my values are and what is important for me.
In Radical acceptance book Tara Brach connects self-compassion and mindfulness that brings in clarity, both together she writes results into self-healing.
I find clarity a tricky one as we can get lost in our own stories, that are still trying to protect the wound in the best possible way. Sometimes talking with trained practitioner about the experience after we held ourselves and recognized the feelings, can bring us closer to the truth and clarity. So with applied self compassion and dialogue with other, the healing can take place. Healing, that brings us a bit closer to Freedom.
Here is my favorite part from Fierce self-compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive, by Kirstin Neff, PhD:
“When we embrace our pain with kindness, we feel loving,
when we remember our common humanity, we feel connected,
when we’re mindful of our pain, we are present. “
If our intention is to live this life with an open heart, present with what is, then self compassion is an integral part of our journey.
I am sharing this song on topic of non judgement and authenticity because of these lines in the lyrics:
“I wanna hear yaAnd keep my mind freeI’m not gonna judge yaI hope you don’t judge me”
The poem is a combination of tapping into spirit of Ubuntu, the 9 perspectives of Enneagram and the Love for self. It is an invitation to inquiry of the expression of the Heart in a unique way of every being.
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