Patience as a Way of Bearing Witness
In my last blog, I wrote about the intentions behind my declaration: “I am committed to making decisions based on Love and Respect.” One intention was: “My intention is to have the patience to stay present and compassionate with myself until clarity emerges.” This inspired today’s post, where I explore patience as a practice of bearing witness.
In Buddhist mindfulness practice, patience is called khanti pāramī. Seeing patience through this lens highlights its deeper meaning: the willingness to endure, stay present, and witness experiences we may not want to feel. Khanti is one of the ten perfections of the heart, the pāramitās, which include:
- Generosity (Dāna)
- Virtue (Sīla)
- Renunciation (Nekkhamma)
- Wisdom (Paññā)
- Energy (Viriya)
- Patience (Khanti)
- Truthfulness (Sacca)
- Determination (Adhiṭṭhāna)
- Lovingkindness (Mettā)
- Equanimity (Upekkhā)
These qualities gradually transform the heart, creating the conditions for awakening. Cultivating patience, generosity, and determination helps release habits that fuel greed, aversion, and confusion. With this foundation, the four brahmavihāras—lovingkindness, compassion, appreciative joy, and equanimity—arise more naturally.
What Patience Teaches Us
Patience is about staying with discomfort, uncertainty, or pain without pushing it away. It also means restraining the urge to act out of avoidance or grasping. Practicing khanti has helped me:
- Balance doing and non-doing, action and inaction
- Discern when to wait and when to act
- Trust my inner knowing
- Move through discomfort without giving up
- Meet challenges with courage and faith
- Notice reactive impulses and respond wisely
We often think of patience in terms of its opposite—impatience—which brings restlessness, irritation, and frustration. I learned to link the patience to constancy, resilience, trust, and believing.
Three Key Aspects
- Recognizing reactivity
- Enduring without losing motivation
- Accepting things as they are while still moving toward change
Practicing Patience Daily
- Mindful Awareness: Observe thoughts, emotions, and sensations without judgment or the need to fix them.
- Receiving with Kindness: Open your heart to difficult feelings with compassion.
- Steadiness Amidst Change: Cultivate a grounded presence through the breath.
We can support our practice by drawing strength from spiritual friendships, meaningful texts, and connection to a more awakened heart–mind. Reflecting on difficulty—especially in relationships—helps us notice when our body interprets situations as attacks and transform them into opportunities for growth.
Ask yourself today:
- Where could I benefit from being more patient with myself or others?
- Where could staying present bring more clarity?
With time, as we move through layers of protection, we start seeing the gold in us.
With Warmth, Be