- Get familiar with your saboteurs – improve wellbeing and relationships
Get familiar with your saboteurs -
improve wellbeing and relationships
In the program 9 steps for inner peace the second triad in the model is named Allowing your wants.
In allowing your wants we are looking into liberating yourself, which literally means how to get out of the prison of “shoulds”, guilt and shame.
These ideas and emotional blocks often prevent the clarity around what are actually our true heart desires. They are the protectors of fears, that we have developed sometime along our path in the life. They are the “I can’t”, “What will people think” sort of thoughts. They are the addictions, jealousy, bitterness, underlying issues of “ I don’t deserve to be happy”, “ not enough” syndrome kind of sources of behavior.
Part of this path of liberation is to get familiar with your saboteurs and develop more sage power. This concept of saboteur and sage was developed by Shirzad Chamine
Positive intelligence. He has identified one master saboteur and named it The judge.
When you work through The judge and various variations of it towards self, others and situations, it is helpful to identify the energy of this judge, the look and how it steals your perspective from your higher wisdom.
Besides Shirzad concept, there is also another aspect of saboteur, that holds a different energy that is also useful to get familiar with. The name of this one is The Brat. (Dora and Angelo Frasco, Healing course). You recognize the brat by quite immature, childish, sulking, walking away, avoiding, “not dealing with the issue in a mature way” kind of energy.
Both the judge and the brat would paint out an image of reality that seems so believable, but there is underlying fear and the choice you would be making for your behavior and decisions would be based on fear.
In a book Breaking free Overcoming Self sabotage (Linda Ellis Eastman and contributing authors) the following chapters give a great insight into what are we working through when we decide to develop more sage capacity in ourself and move more into our original essence. The chapters are: How to built healthy self esteem&stand up to your internal saboteur; Negative self-talk; Stop with the cruel words; Sabotage: the consequence of fear; De-clutter your mind; I am enough; learning to love yourself.
How do we work with these aspects of ourselves that are kind of protecting us, and yet it is not a protection that would serve our highest. Every time you manage to catch the saboteur, it is like overcoming a threshold guardian in a video game, which if you do manage to catch it and act from your wisdom, it is your entrance to level 2, to celebration, to more alignment.
Here are 7 tips that support you to break free from your self-sabotage :
- Keeping yourself in contact with your body and presence in now with mindfulness breaks – setting a healthy clean body and clarity of mind
- Getting familiar with your judge and brat – energy and appearance
- Celebrating little steps of changing your course of thoughts
- Practicing lovingkidness and self compassion and compassion for others
- Intentionally reestablishing connection with your essence and self-worth
- Allowing time to sit with yourself and inquiry without being scattered and restless
- Having courage to articulate your decisions with kindness to others